…..thinking it was contact solution. 

I’ll give that guy an eleven for ingenuity. 

According to a recent survey by Careerbuilder about one in four workers admit to making fake excuses for being late to work.

Males are less likely to lie about why they’re late - 22 percent compared to 28 percent of women.

While the majority of hiring managers don’t typically question the validity of the reasons provided, 27 percent say most of the time they don’t believe the excuses. Here are the top ten examples of the most unusual excuses employees offered for arriving late to work:

1. Someone was following me, and I drove all around town trying to lose them.
2. My dog dialed 911, and the police wanted to question me about what “really”         happened.
3. My girlfriend got mad and destroyed all of my undergarments.
4. I woke up and thought I was temporarily deaf.
5. I just wasn’t “feelin’ it” this morning.
6. I was up all night arguing with God.
7. A raccoon stole my work shoe off my porch.
8. I super-glued my eye thinking it was contact solution.
9. I was putting lotion on my face when my finger went up my nose causing a nose bleed.
10. A prostitute climbed into my car at a stop light, and I was afraid my wife would see her and think I was messing around… so I got out of the car.

Use these.  Or, concoct your own.  Share with the rest of us your best excuses.

Remember what we’ve said previously.  Your employer may not know it, but they’re going to have to make some sacrifices for you to launch your Work Naked career.

Are you looking for Mr. Right or just Mr. Right Now?

This baby is the the ultimate pick-up device.

Talk about a turn-on.  You’ll be styling in these therapeutic nose air filters.  This is the new status symbol in facial jewelry.  Soon to be available in diamond- studded 24-carat gold (or platinum) to match your favorite grill.

Wait….wait…I’ve reconsidered.  These are more like birth control devices.

Actually the BreathePur is a disposable filtering device that actually works in the nose to block most airborne particulates – such as allergens – from being inhaled.

More comfortable than masks, it’s ideal for chores around the house, in the garden or workshop, whenever the wind is creating airborne debris, or a hot Saturday night at the club.

Another invention by someone who wants to Work Naked. Many off-the-wall ideas are out there, you just have to find the one to live the life you have always wanted to live.

As reported in The Independent, an idea by two scientists gives new meaning to the term “corporate treadmill.”

Instead of walking to work, the walking desk - or “vertical workstation”- is fixed to a treadmill enabling office workers to work while burning calories.

Professor James Levine and Jennifer Miller of the Mayo Clinic, in Minnesota, who invented the device, say using it for a couple of hours a day could help obese staff shed up to 60 lbs. a year.

They tested the contraption on 15 people with sedentary jobs who never exercised. The participants set the speed of the treadmill themselves and carried on working at their computer, which was fixed above on a frame with adjustable arms. One arm carried the screen and the other the keyboard and mouse.

On average, the participants burned more than twice as much energy per hour at the walking desk compared with the normal stationary one. Their energy expenditure was measured while they walked and worked for 35 minutes out of an hour and compared with the amount of energy used while working seated at an ordinary desk. There were no falls or injuries.

A key reason why waistlines have expanded over the past 30 years is the increase in sedentary work. For millions, the hammer and shovel have been replaced by the keyboard and mouse as they spend their days at computer screens.

What’s the next step for this concept?  Generating electrical power while treadmilling.Yes, that’s right.   Down in the parking garage your electric car needs a charge.  It’s plugged-in…..and wired to your desk treadmill.

There are plenty of weird jobs that pay good money, jobs that we don’t even realize people do.

Have you ever thought about being a citrus fruit dyer, who makes sure citrus fruits look tasty by adding dye to fruit.  How about an IMAX screen cleaner, ensuring the hefty screen is crystal clear.  

As reported in the dailytitan.com, Nancy Rica Schiff, a photography veteran, became intrigued with offbeat jobs after encountering the official timekeeper at a horse race track.

“I never even considered that someone did that,” Schiff said. “It’s a job you take for granted.”

Fascinated by atypical occupations, she set out to find those surreptitious people who do what others can’t (or won’t) do and photographed them.

Her books, Odd Jobs and Odder Jobs, highlight such occupations as sign painter, sandcastle teacher, beer tester, coin polisher, condom tester, bingo caller, flatulence smell-reduction underwear inventor, ball tester and other zany professions.

Her advice to  people seeking a wacky career: “If you have a particular unusual job in mind, go after it,” Schiff said. “But if you can’t find a job you’ll have fun doing, invent it for yourself.”

You could be an odor tester, making sure deodorants and anti-perspirants defunk armpits.  Maybe even a golf ball diver, finding balls that head into water.  Or, a cheese sprayer, coating popcorn with a layer of cheese.

Have you ever had a bad hair day? 

Well, my hair’s been really uncooperative lately.  You know, dull, lifeless, no body, no shine.

I’ve tried it all - wild New Zealand avocados, truffle oil, pulverized whale foreskins. Nothing worked.

The answer - an incredible new product containing bull semen.   Hey, I couldn’t make this up.  This is where it’s found.

I have it iced down and flown in from England.  The shine is fabulous.   

I’m big into outdoor activities.  When you’re outside in the hot sun, the fragrance of the sperm is just indescribable.  And, once the bull sperm really warms up, every cow within a 100 yards finds me irresistable.

But seriously, it’s a great conversation starter.  The first time you meet a potential customer ask them to guess what type of hair product you’re using.  But don’t let them answer.  Cut them off and shout “Bull semen!  That’s right, I’ve got bull semen in my hair!”

You’ll make an impression they’ll always remember.

Cool spy gadgets, have you ever wanted one?

From James Bond, to agent Maxwell Smart, to the real cold war Russian commies, spy gadgets are intriguing. 

Now, there’s a contest where you can design your coolest spy gadget. 

Autodesk the software company is sponsoring a contest for designs that are inventive, humorous or just plain intriguing and will award prizes to the top entries in each category. Submissions are currently being accepted and the contest will run through April 18, 2007.

The Top Overall Design will be selected based on detail of design and “cool factor”. 
The narrowed list of design finalists will be posted starting May 2 and members will rate the entries using a star system, with prizes awarded to the highest-ranking gadget and one runner-up in each category.

The Top Overall Design will win one Sony James Bond 007 TX Spy Gear bundle, which includes a lightweight VAIO TX notebook PC, a privacy screen and Cyber-shot digital camera. 

So, think like a spy.  What would you need to accomplish your mission?

You’ve probably seen the ads for work at home opportunities.  Don’t they sound fabulous? 

You earn good money and you spend little time working.  Wow, sign me up!!

They tout things like envelope-stuffing, product assembly, medical billing, vitamin sales, and telemarketing of videotapes, books and seminars.

So just to check out these quick cash gigs, a task force was formed to “shop” more than 100 work-at-home advertisements.  And, their conclusion was that there’s absolutely no evidence of people making the large earnings promised.

In fact, most people pay more upfront than they ever earn doing the work advertised.

In this yearlong study of 112 work-at-home companies, 21 were out of business before the study concluded. Twelve others did not respond after money was sent, and 10 did not respond to preliminary inquiries.

Of the remaining 69 companies, two said “positions were filled,” and the rest sent instructions for setting up another work-at-home company, products to assemble, books or lists of other companies to contact for work opportunities, or offers for software, books or videos.

The task force was formed a year ago in response to growing concerns about an industry that regularly tops the list of types of businesses generating the most inquiries to local Better Business Bureaus.

While ads claim high earnings and short hours with little or no experience, the task force found no evidence of people actually making the promised money. Rather, after paying advance “registration” fees or “good faith deposits,” the consumer receives either nothing or information that encourages involvement in an illegal scheme or supplies to assemble a product that is virtually impossible to complete.

Surprise…surprise, who would’ve thunk?

The only people who get rich quick are the scam artists that these people sent their money to.

A key ingredient of working naked is that YOU GET PAID! 

Some people really pamper their ipods.  And, others….

You obviously wouldn’t mistreat your ipod.  But, more than you might imagine get slammed in car doors, melted by light bulbs, chewed by dogs, and washed along with clothes.

As reported on msnbc.com, entrepreneur Aaron Vronko, co-founder of iPodmods.com, chuckles when recalling some of the grisly injuries he’s seen.   His company is part of a niche industry that serves music lovers whose high end music players have fallen ill, usually from mistreatment.

In one such case, Vronko notes, the familiar whirr of the spinning hard drive took on more ominous sound: “You could hear it swishing around in there. There wasn’t much we could do.”

Apple Inc., maker of the popular music players, doesn’t, for example, accept exchanges on iPods under warranty if their screens have been cracked or if it’s clear they’ve been dropped.

The entrepreneurs have stepped in for those hoping to repair their iPods rather than buy new.  Vronko and a friend started iPodMods in Kalamazoo, Michigan, and set up their web site in 2004.  They’ve served customers in more than 65 countries. 

With 90 million iPods sold, Vronko sees a growing pool of potential customers.
“We’ve gone from five a week to 500,” he said. “Within a week of the model debuting, we get a phone call saying someone dropped it and broke the screen.”

Here’s another example of how pain relief can be your ticket to working naked.

Learn it, know it, live it!

Have you ever needed an excuse to end a phone conversation?  Well, has Mike Donine got a product for you.

He invented the Xcuse Box.  It’s a $10 key chain accessory that plays high-quality background noises, including sirens and a carpenter’s saw, that make it believable when you tell a chatty friend you have to get off the phone or let your boss know you have to miss a meeting.

As reported in The Press-Enterprise, Donine, who has used the box’s auto repair shop noises when running late, said “You could be sitting in your car and say ‘I’d love to talk but I’m getting on an airplane’ and hit the button.”

Target liked the novelty item so much it commissioned three more sound-related products from Donine, including a sequel to The Xcuse Box with barking dogs and kids bickering in the backseat.

Unlike many inventors, Donine did not have a lifelong ambition to create. It was his wife, Laurie, who convinced him to pursue the talent.

From baby products to portable billboards, inventor Mike Donine makes his living thinking up solutions to everyday problems.  Now Donine is peddling his latest creation, the steel Billboard System that slides into a vehicle’s trailer hitch for easy removal. It’s ideal, he said, for real estate agents, contractors, restaurants and casinos.  Check out the XcuseBox and his other inventions.

Donine said he is enjoying the satisfaction of being an inventor.

“Life is more fun because you don’t know what’s coming around the corner,” he said. “You’re looking for the project that will catapult you to wealth, but in the meantime, it’s an adventure.”

Did you see where Staples is running a contest for new product inventions? 

The winner in each of the three groups receives $25,000 and probably more as the products sell.

The contest has been around since 2003 and has received over 30,000 entries.  This year’s ideas include everything from a office chair with a trundle seat (just what everyone needs, somebody sitting hip-to-hip with you all day long) to a belt that closes off your cubicle to unwanted visitors.

There are three categories for inventors kids, adults, and Staples associates.
Five kid inventors from across the country advanced to the final round in the first-ever Staples Invention Quest Kids. Also, five adults and four Staples associates advanced to the finalist stage in the adult and associate categories of the contest. From April 2 through April 20, the public can view information on the inventors, including video testimonies, and vote for their favorite finalists in all three categories at www.staples.com/IQ.

On April 23, the finalists will present their inventions in person at the NASDAQ Marketsite in New York City. They will have five minutes to communicate their ideas to an expert panel of inventors and entrepreneurs.

The invention that receives the most public votes through the online voting site at www.staples.com/IQ will receive five extra points. The winner in each category (kids, adults and Staples associates) will be announced on April 24 at NASDAQ. Each winner will receive a $25,000 grand prize and royalties if Staples manufactures and sells the invention. The four runners up in each category will all receive $5,000.

What are you waiting for?  There’s inventor (and work naked) opportunities everywhere.

So you want to be entrepreneur?  What are your qualifications?  In school you were a C student? 

Perfect!

According to research by a well known insurance company, Northwestern Mutual, successful entrepreneurs are generally not top students.   Of course, there are always exceptions. 

This study involved more than 5,000 entrepreneurs and compared business success with academic achievement.  

So, what’s the explanation, why are C students more entrepreneurially successful?  Well, one theory is that these average students by necessity need to develop social skills to succeed.  The high  achievers, the A students, can fall back on their grades and test scores.  They can be “book smart”.

The C students find other ways to excel.  They may have natural people skills in communication, creativity, and leadership.  And, these skillsets are key to entrepreneurial success.

You might ask why an insurance company is interested in how academic achievement compares to a person’s entrepreneurial success.  It’s an important piece of information for the recruiting of insurance agents.  Although employed by the company, each agent acts independently and must have strong entrepreneurial skills to be successful.  So, should they recruit A students or C students?

The point is virtually anyone can be successful.  And, if you were the class dunce, you can be just as successful (or more) as the science fair champ.    

Calling all inventors.  The ABC TV show American Inventor is starting a nationwide search to discover America’s best new invention.  The show will uncover the hottest new retail product and make a struggling inventor’s dream come true.

American Inventor will visit six cities with a panel of judges for open casting calls to meet inventors from all over the country. The competition is open to individuals or teams of inventors, and all ages are welcome.

Casting calls will be held in the following six cities during March and April: Los Angeles, San Francisco, Chicago, New York City, Orlando, and Houston.

Check this website for casting call scheduling and more information about the American Inventor process.

Naked inventing, Yeah!

The U.S. Postal Service and the Small Business Adminstration are teaming up to offer small business owners valuable information.

A series of Delivering Success videos found at www.sba.gov/deliveringsuccess present real world examples of successful entrepreneurs around the country.  The videos offer important information on a number of key components of business success.

The USPS has also produced more than 30 videos about how small businesses use the postal service and direct mail. They are posted at www.usps.com/smallbiz. The site also offers a link to register online for quarterly magazine Small Business Impact and e-mail newsletter.

Looks like good basic material.

For those of us who may have great ideas for new products and services, the U.S. Supreme Court may be able to help you.

Apparently, the special court that rules on patent applications may be stifling competition.  Numerous rulings by the patent appeals court may have unfairly barred patents for new inventions in favor of overly broad existing patents.

The U.S. Supreme Court is scrutinizing more rulings by the appeals court and in many cases have overturned their conclusions.

Let’s hope that the pendulum will swing farther towards supporting small business and the innovation of the “littler guy”.

And, who would have thought those old fogies in Washington might be of help. 

Actually, Bill will pay $100,000 to the person with the best small business idea.

Microsoft is teaming up with a familiar face from The Apprentice. Trump’s right hand women, Carolyn Kepcher, and other judges will be visiting select cities to evaluate business concepts. They’ll be traveling in one heavily armed recreational vehicle and making stops in Atlanta, Chicago, Denver and Las Vegas.

If you’re interested, you can submit your business idea through the ideawins.com website or visit their RV. Your idea needs to be submitted by January 31st.

In the addition to the $100 G’s, the winner will be set-up with a storefront in Manhattan for a year and given software to start the business.

The winner is given software to start the business? Hmm…….is there a marketing tie in here?